Sucker Punch
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: "Twice in one day eh?" Greg couldn't stop himself the words escaping before he'd had time to censor the smugness in his voice. He was referring to their suspect at the gym they had visited; he couldn't deny it he had enjoyed being confused for Sara's other half. Set During 'Brain Doe' S.12 Ep. 17
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone, how are you all? So it's been I think four (maybe five) years since I posted last, where to even start with everything that's happened in between that time!**

 **I was channel flicking the other day and 'Brain Doe' was on, filled with some delicious Sandle moments which have inspired this rambly, long one shot. I hope you all enjoy it. It feels great to be back!**

 **Disclaimer - I own nothing.**

 **Sucker Punch**

" _See what happens when you break pattern?"_

"Let's go, we only have an hour and we have somewhere we need to be." Sara's voice cut through the the silence of the locker room while Greg searched for the sandwich he had made for their four am lunch break. She quirked an eyebrow at him indicating there was no time to faff about they needed to get out of there. Now. "My treat, to make up for earlier." She added as if the sweeten the deal and convince him to walk out of the lab with her. His mind went through a number of poor jokes about stranger danger and Mrs Robinson before he settled with just beaming at her muttering quietly, "I thought you'd never ask" before following her out into the bright morning light of the car park.

It was 'Brunch Day'. It was the one day of the week Sara had started to look forward to with as much excitement as a child going to meet Santa. It was their day. A tradition that had started out of nowhere when they had found a small cafe in what had seemed like a back of beyond. They had come back with stories about pancakes and pastries that had blown their minds and changed their lives. Despite preaching about maple syrup like a religion they had returned the next week just the two of them. Every Wednesday Greg would pick Sara up before their shift to go partake. They would drive in sleepy silence not having had their morning caffeine fix. The first few sips were the sweetest at their favourite table overlooking the car park so they could people watch.

That day Sara had cancelled having overslept and woken up feeling far too tired to move. Greg had accepted her apology but had pouted all day about the missed breakfast foods. She'd not had the heart to tell him that her bad mood had been rooted in an emotional conversation over a poor Skype connection with Grissom. They had talked about their plans to see each other next, the tension made worse by the robotic sound coming through the speakers. Neither one of them had been particularly good conversationalists that evening and when she'd hung up the phone Sara found herself unable to sleep. She replayed the things her husband had said and fixed her responses so they were sharper and got to the point better. No amount of rethinking changed the feeling she had at the pit of her stomach staring at the ceiling pretending to count sheep.

They climbed into her Denali glancing around at the people that might spot them leaving for lunch and suddenly remember that thing they needed to do or see. There was never time for a full break in the lab - every meal interrupted but someone needing help or to brainstorm. It amazed them how they had become so accustomed to eating with crime scene photos laid out on the break room table with them. It was morbid to say the least. They were in luck there was no one to drag them back under the false, fluorescent lights of the lab that day. Greg messed with the radio skipping after the opening bars of most songs with a callous disregard for whatever Sara wanted to listen to on the drive. She had more important things to worry about he reminded her when she protested his vetoes - they had an hour to get to there and back.

If Sara was honest with herself she'd missed her quiet evening routine with Greg. All of her human interaction had been limited to the lab these days. After returning to Vegas she had reconnected with the old friends in the office but it wasn't the same. When they were out for drinks or dinner someone would inevitably bring up the new piece of jewellery on her left hand. (Or yet more painful to handle ask her about the whereabouts of her husband.) It hadn't been long before she had fallen back into old habits and let work consume her. The next thing she knew almost five years had passed her by and nothing had changed. The time spent with Greg had become the entirety of her regular social calendar. She enjoyed it for what it was; he made her feel at ease and never asked her to justify her living arrangements.

They would joke about work, trashy daytime TV they were binge watching and reminisce about their early days in Sin City. They had once been so close. He had welcomed her with open arms when she had first returned but it had been awkward while they remained out of sync. The first time they'd had dinner together after all of those years they'd spent the first half hour almost in complete silence staring at their plates. Sara had wanted to ask about something more meaningful than how the lab had been while she'd been away but had drawn a blank. Greg had sensed her sadness and bit his tongue to stop himself asking about her marriage. She had appreciated his sensitivity on the topic - he had seen past of those things and just focused on her in that moment.

He had changed. She couldn't pretend she hadn't seen it. He no longer deferred to her for decisions in the field, confident in his own abilities to do the job. It was different working together as equals. They knew what they needed to be doing and without too much conversation would just get on with it sharing the occasional meaning glance. He looked different too. Long gone were the dorky band tees and bleached hair. The well fitted suits and matching ties were running the show now. She couldn't deny women would look at him when they were out with appreciative glances and the barmaids that would flirt with him when they went out for drinks. Sara struggled with feelings she couldn't identify on those nights.

They took their usual booth in the corner watching the other people in the cafe - the regulars they would normally see were not there at this time of day but atmosphere was almost exactly the same. There was a buzz in the air most likely caused by the sugar rushes of the patrons and the warm air circulating around the small eatery. Greg studied the menu in front of him with great detail though both knew that he would end up settling for the same thing he always ordered. (Stack of pancakes with everything.) "There you two are, Marie and I were wondering why you weren't in earlier…. weren't we?" The waitress was almost squealing with excitement glancing back at someone at the counter they assumed was Marie. "We were saying earlier, we haven't seen that nice couple that come in here every Wednesday."

She leant across the table filling their mugs with steaming (strong!) filter coffee as they registered her comments not knowing what to say. Greg gave Sara a quick look before glancing up at the waitress with the most sweet, chocolate-could-melt look smile he could muster. He was half expecting his friend to kick him in the shins under the table, luckily Sara kept her feet firmly over her side of the table fuelling Greg to go even further. "Someone overslept today." He jabbed, pointing at his companion in a cartoonishly obvious way. Sara opened her mouth aghast before throwing her head back to give a husky laugh that had always made Greg weak. "Well I'm glad you made it." The waitress commented with a knowing expression taking their orders. A strange quiet fell between them as they struggled for words after she had walked away.

"Twice in one day eh?" Greg couldn't stop himself the words escaping before he'd had time to censor the smugness in his voice. He was referring to their suspect at the gym they had visited; he couldn't deny it he had enjoyed being confused for Sara's other half. Amongst all of the everyday chaos he could pretend to be in an entire alternate reality where the world was upside down and Sara had chosen him. He also had quietly kept note of the fact that in both situations she had not corrected the mistake. There was hope a tiny, little voice in his head had screamed before he was pulled back to reality. There was still a chance that one day she might look at him and see more than just a friend. (More than that guy that had pined for her for almost fifteen years.) But his Sara never let anything slip. She would flirt with him, stay the night on his sofa after too much wine and then try to set up him with the random women they encountered. If she wanted more she had never made her move or indicated that it would be ok for him to do so either.

"It's something." Sara focused on the dark liquid in her coffee cup not ready to meet his eye or have the conversation they both knew they were going to be having. She knew there was only a point up to which Greg could be polite; over the years she had seen him lose his temper or make snide remarks when people had irritated him. His words more cutting than she was used to or had ever experienced. With all of the tension between them in that moment she imagined just how easily she could have been on the receiving end of that. He was being light and breezy while challenging the very foundations of her life. He was pushing her to acknowledge that he was very much there in body and mind while the man she spent her life waiting for was a thought somewhere in the distance. Greg was going to be downfall; she had sensed it from that first comfortable embrace. Of all the people she knew, he would be the one to unravel her.

"So Mrs Gregory Sanders, are you going to tell me why you cancelled before shift?" He kept his voice low leaning over the table slightly, placing his outstretched hand next hers as if too scared to actually touch her. Greg knew that something must have happened with Grissom otherwise Sara would have told him already what had put her in a bad enough mood to say no to a full veggie breakfast (hash browns and all). He wanted to offer her support but she already knew that he was there for her. He always was, always had been, always would be. She used him as an emotional fluffer for long enough to know that he would listen without any judgement. Greg resented the frustration he felt with her sometimes - he was taking it all far more personally than he should have done (and certainly Sara did).

"Grissom…" She took a sharp intake of breath, fiddling with her wedding ring and taking a sip of her coffee. She was waiting her time all to avoid admitting the truth. Verbalising her feelings would make it all so real. Weakness did not come naturally to her and in that sat in front of Greg, Sara felt everything like a weight on her shoulders. She knew she needed to talk to someone, to rationalise what she had been obsessing about by herself for all of this time. "We're just struggling to make our schedules work, that's all." She choked. She was disappointed in herself for not being honest with Greg. He offered nothing but a nod in response to her confession not knowing what the appropriate response was. _You should leave him for me -_ didn't seem like the right thing to say during a lunch break to a married woman even if you're in love with her.

"Good thing you've got a back up, work husband isn't it?" He gave a goofy shrug, it was a lame joke. It had bitter undertones and sounded needier than he wanted it to. Greg wanted to say something profound and romantic but apart from _Damn it Sara I'm in love with you_ nothing came to mind. Sara gave a small laugh and squeezed his hand, silently thanking him for not pushing it. It was a silent promise that at some point she would let him in. The conversation stopped there and they diverted topics, discussing the peculiar details of their case and the evidence they had gathered so far. They talked about which Real Housewife they were rooting for during the cat fights.

The food disappeared, the coffee had run dry and it was time to get back to work. They walked out into the heavy desert air, the bright light almost blinding them as they looked out at the large expanse in front of them. Greg paused to study Sara in all of her melancholic glory wanting more than anything to say the right thing, scratch that, the perfect sentence that would make her realise just how wild she drove him. She turned to face him with a small content sigh, in the hour they had spent together she had felt real, seen and valued. He watched her carefully but instead of saying they should get into the car she stepped closer to him until they were inches apart. Sara gave him a coy smile, tucking her hair behind her ear, straightening up so they were almost eye to eye.

Before Greg had a chance to process what was happening she kissed him. Sara Sidle actually kissed him. Her lips softly brushed against his, the taste of maple syrup enticing him to pull her closer. She nudged forward till they bodies were touching, leaning into him and deeping the kisses with no indicating she would pull away. Greg never wanted it to stop he wanted to stand outside of that cafe kissing Sara in the middle of nowhere forever. And from the way her fingers awkwardly tangled with his, he sensed she felt the same way. The sound of the door swinging open and slamming again forced her to pull away sheepishly watching the people pass them on the way to their car. Sara gave him a half smile and a shrug, "We wouldn't want to let Marie and Angie down would we?"

 **The End**


	2. Chapter 2

I was feeling inspired so there is a part two…

Disclaimer: I own zilch

 **Sucker Punch**

It was just one kiss. (One measly, life changing, self affirming, earth shattering kiss.) And Greg couldn't stop thinking about it. It had been replaying in his mind from the moment it had happened urging him to finally do something about his feelings for Sara. Surely after all of this time it was evidence that she felt the same way about him; she knew better than to think it was a meaningless gesture. (Or so he had thought until it became obvious she had no intentions of discussing it with him.) Sara had gone back to work as if nothing had happened; she'd talked to Hodges, worked the case, leaving at the end of the day giving him nothing but a small wave. It was so casual Greg wondered if he had imagined the whole thing. He wanted to scream across the hallway - _Hey what about that kiss?_ \- just to confirm he hadn't dreamt the whole scenario up in his depressed, loveless state. Greg kept it to himself instead sheepishly waving back at her as she walked away.

The next few days did not get any better; they were given different cases only passing each other in the lab or awkwardly sharing the elevator up from the car park at the start of shift. If Sara knew why he was acting strangely she hadn't let on which had frustrated him even more. Greg had thought more than once about hitting the emergency stop button on the lift and demanding that she acknowledge that something had changed between them. But he still stayed quite smiling politely at her as she told him about her husband. He did what he had always done and shrunk into the background of her life. He had always been the reliable friend always there to pick her up from whatever insensitive, selfish thing her better half had done. And when Greg saw her he resented her and himself for it. He wondered how much of it had been a lie - that she loved her husband and was happy living her life across two continents or that the stupid kiss outside of their Wednesday hangout spot meant nothing.

It was already Tuesday the week he had spent obsessing had flown by - it had been six days and he had not done a thing to break the ice between them. (Meanwhile Sara had remained as cool and casual as ever.) He assumed she would come up with an excuse not to be alone with him and cancel to continue her plan of avoiding being honest with him for the rest of her life. It didn't make sense for her to start pushing him away now - did she think something would happen? Would she finally give in and rip of his clothes asking him to take her then and there in front of the entire cafe. It was certainly a thought he enjoyed dwelling on. It was animalist, lusty and basic but an obvious side effect of the tension between them. (And the simple fact there is nothing sexier than something you can't have.) Their relationship had changed so much over the years finally reaching a breaking point where it had no option but to admit they meant something to each other - something they shouldn't have done.

When they'd had first started working together he'd had a school boy crush on Sara; she was the hot (not that much) older woman that had intimidated him with her sultry stares and a husky voice. It was so innocent the way he had idolized her and put her up on a pedestal. His Sara could do no wrong. She was complicated, passionate and unattainable which had driven him mad. She had indulged his admiration for him and even responded to some of his come ons but it was clear it would never go any further than that. It was all different now. Their emotional age gap was no longer existent; all of those years in the field had forced him to grown up. His weekends were boring, jokes were less crass, tastes more neutral and the added bonus he understood her in a way he hadn't done before. Sara had softened as she had gotten older and had started letting him in at some point he could barely remember now. He was no longer crushing on the woman way out of his league he was deeply and fundamentally in love with a woman that could never be his. (Even if she admitted to herself that she wanted him.)

It struck him as strange how his relationship with Sara mirrored her life with her husband. Grissom had been the older one unwilling to give in to his feelings while Sara had been pining from afar. She had sat back and watched him chose other women ahead of her. She had experienced the deep feelings of hurt and embarrassment every time a crumb of affection was thrown her way only to disappear when she came back for more. She had stood aside proving her worth for almost twelve years before receiving her prize as it were. She must have known exactly what she was doing to him. Greg wanted to wash his hands and walk away. It was stupid to think she had been the reason he had given up years of his life but there was a thought in the back of his mind festering that he wasted years not moving on. He could have left Las Vegas somewhere by the sea or somewhere it rained a lot. He could have met a nice girl from a small town and had a kid or two. He would have spent the weekends coaching little league or having beers with the other the dads.

It was all completely ridiculous he could not blame Sara for decisions he had made himself. If he had wanted that life he could have made it happen but much to his mother's frustration he had claimed to enjoy being a bachelor in the middle of a desert city. He needed a night out not thinking about her. He needed to let off some steam and consum bourbon like there was no tomorrow. Hodges would have usually been up for a drink but he'd made an excuse about having dinner with his mother. Nick's new girlfriend had kept him on a short leash so there was little chance he'd be allowed out to get hammered at a strip club. Greg realised he had no option but to go solo. He could choose any place he wanted to and park himself by the bar to drink until he either forgot about Sara or said to hell with it and broke down her front door demanding that she admit that she loved him once and for all.

He chose the most unlikely place he could think of; a dive bar on the far side of town. (The last thing he wanted was to run into someone his co-workers who'd inevitably want to know what was wrong.) It was a dark, no frills sort of place that offered just offered quiet space to drink. Greg ordered scotch rocks and found a spot at the end of the bar that would be his home for the time being. He barely looked up not wanting to accidentally make eye contact with anyone. There were always stories about brawls that would break out when a newbie looked at a patron the wrong way at the wrong time. His hope for a quiet night quickly dissipated as the smell of perfume surrounded him overwhelming his senses. Greg looked up to see bright blue eyes peering at him as the young woman placed another drink in front of him. He gave a polite nod of thanks not wanting to start a conversation but it was just his luck she didn't move. "You ok, sweetheart?" her voice was sickly sweet the sound forcing Greg to pay attention to her (exposed cleavage and all).

She was pretty (so far away from his usual type) it was obvious that any other guy in there would have been ecstatic to have the attention he was getting. Greg took a deep breath leaning back in his bar stool and giving her a shrug to indicate that it wasn't something he felt like talking about. "Aww" she cooed placing a hand on his arm and leaning in closer. The gloss on her lips shone in the dim lighting enticing him to mirror her movements moving towards her. "Anything I can help with?" she added quirking a delicate eyebrow at him making her intentions clear. Greg found himself taken aback despite knowing there would have been no other reason to speak to a stranger in a bar after a drink or two. "What would you suggest?" He asked in a low voice to the anti-Sara as she purposefully rubbed her hand up and down his thigh. "Oh lots of things." She laughed "I'm done with my shift." She assured him indicating to the bar for more liquor to add more fuel to the fire. He didn't dare look away for fear of suddenly rationalizing what he was doing and walking out of there. He needed this. The dististraction, a new focus for his frustrations.

Flirting did not come naturally to Greg but he tried his best to keep up with the cheeky sparring and purposeful looks. Meaningless sex with strangers had never been his thing either. He had been an awkward teenager with no clue on how to speak to girls until university at which point he'd fallen hard for Rosie a masters student. She'd been patient with him and when they'd finally slept together it hadn't mattered that he had been twenty two and he'd finally lost his virginity. It'd been romantic, they'd lit every candle they could find, ordered pizza from a pricier place than usual and shared a bottle of a fruity sauvignon blanc. It had meant something and in comparison to the odd one night stand he'd following their break up realised casual wasn't for him.

The time melted away before his companion was pulling him towards her by his tie. She tasted of cherries and Jim Beam when she kissed him; the cocktail leaving him feeling dizzy. He'd accomplished his mission and drank too much feeling light headed as the sudden jolt forward. "Let's get out of here." She muttered in his ear kissing his neck, her teeth scraping the delicate skin. Greg pulled back for a moment studying the girl in front of him before giving in to the temptation coiling in the pit of his stomach. This was it - the perfect moment to walk away if he'd changed his mind about losing himself for the night. Still he kept a hold of her. Greg pulled himself to his feet and straightened his back with intent, entangling his fingers with the stranger in front of him leading her out of the door and into the night like it was nothing.

Sara had seen him walk in surrounded by storm clouds settling for a drink with his back to her. Greg had been wanting to talk for days but she'd been avoiding him not knowing how to explain her behaviour the other week. And now after three quarters of a bottle of red wine later was not the time to talk to him. All of her filters and self control disappearing as the deep red liquid had done. She moved to the corner of the booth she had been sitting in so he wouldn't see her immediately if he turned around. She wanted to skip out quietly but in some perverse form of self torture had stayed and watched as the barmaid had put her hand on Greg's thigh. Her actions had a sense of over familiarity you could only get away with when you're young and drunk. Sara didn't know why she stayed to watch Greg give his undivided attention to the pretty little thing he had caught that night. She didn't move just letting all the feelings flood in all of the things while all of her instincts told her to run - out of sight, out of mind.


	3. Chapter 3

So this has become way more than a one-shot, I hope the couple of you reading are enjoying it - please let me know what you think!

Discliamer - I own zilch

 **Sucker Punch**

Sara paced the kitchen waiting for the kettle to finish boiling the need for camomile pushing against her temples. Greg had not called about picking her up for brunch which hadn't surprised her; she had pictured him waking up naked, hungover with the pretty young barmaid wrapped around him. She was probably far away from his mind at that moment - now if only she could push him out of her thoughts. As much as she hated admitting it he had taken prime real estate in her daydreaming recently. It was not her place to feel jealous or think that he should have taken her home to his bed that night. She had been avoiding him for for fear that she would not be able to hold everything in anymore. She was worried she would end up confessing about how alone she felt except when she was with him. That he had been the one that had made being in Vegas bearable.

Sara had thought over and over about what she would say to him before glancing down at her wedding ring and realizing that verbalizing it was not an option. Despite what Greg meant to her, she would remind herself that she was a married woman. (Though these days it felt like she was in a relationship with her phone.) Gil had tried to do all of the right things but they still were worlds apart emotionally. They loved each other but didn't know how to love. The romantic moments had always been awkward and eclectic occurrences - Grissom stumbling over the right moves as she waited for something that she could never put her finger on. Greg made it easy. He would say something off hand that reminded her of how much he loved her; he never had to try too hard to be what she needed.

Walking away from Grissom had not felt like an option after all of the time she had spent waiting for him. When she had found herself isolated and miserable in Paris she would remind herself every day she had been the one that had wanted it. She had been the one to move from her perfectly comfortable life in San Francisco to pursue him. Now they were legally bound together she wanted more than anything to make it work even if that meant leaving. When she had gotten into a taxi to leave Las Vegas she had never considered that the city would become her refuge. She had run back to a place that had felt most like home while her marriage was falling apart. It had been the lab and the people that had made it so (the people including Greg who had went out of his way to always ensure she was comfortable).

In a strange way she had thought that running away would save her marriage. It had taken a lot of rationalizing to get to that conclusion and once she had done she felt like an idiot for thinking that Grissom would chase her like he had done all of those years ago. It was crazy to imagine they would be able to recreate that moment in the rainforest when he found her - literally and spiritually. They had never been so in love than they had been during that first kiss. They needed that feeling back. She had tried to recreate it without even being consciously aware of it. It had not been until her first flight to the city of love she'd had time to analyze it and wonder what Grissom must have felt when he had followed her out into the wilderness.

Had he been nervous as she was on the way to see him after only a month of being apart. Almost as nervous as she felt at the thought of telling Greg that she might be in love with him. The quiet hopeless romantic in her was showing and Sara hated it. She hated being vulnerable, wanting something and the chance of being disappointed. What made it worse was how typical it all was. They had seen similar things in the cases they worked every single day. She was just another wife erked by the hours her husband worked wanting more of him. Her response to move nine time zones away was less predictable. (But she had never wanted to be the traditional bride.) Falling blindly in love with your best friend was not a normal responses to marriage problems either. Now everything was more complicated than it had been before.

Grissom was as distant as he had ever been and Greg was...Greg. He had tried to make her happy like he had always done but it had all become too much and it was clear he wanted out of their non-relationship. At a time when Sara wanted nothing but to shelter in his comfort to avoid dealing with the realities of her life. She knew she needed to say something before she lost both Greg and Grissom. She needed to make a decisions and move forward because remaining stagnant was destroying all three of them piece by piece. With a deep breath for encouragement she dialed Greg's number knowing she was more than likely to get his voicemail. They could just start with a coffee, a conversation she suggested in the sweetest voice she could muster.

It was ridiculous to be nervous but she had changed shirts what had felt like for a dozen different options before settling for a comfortable pair of jeans and a pull over that Greg had seen a million times. It had felt like getting ready for a first date or perhaps more like a court date. Sara had picked a busy cafe off the strip wanting to be on neutral ground. The drive gave her an opportunity to clear her mind before she saw Greg - she still had no idea what she was going to say to him. All of the time she had spent rehearsing speeches telling him they couldn't keep going the way they were had fallen by the wayside. Every time she would imagine kissing him again. The feeling of his five o'clock shadow against her skin, the taste of cigarettes and coffee on his lips. Each time she would have to reset trying to imagine telling him they could be nothing more than friends.

The car park was filled with badly parked cars with no purpose but just to frustrate her or so it felt like that; though none of them were Greg's she noted as she pushed the double doors open. He had confirmed in a quick text that he'd be there but had made no attempts to return her phone call. Sara waited in line and ordered her drink (flat white) and took a seat in one of the quieter areas not wanting anyone nosey listening in to their conversation. It was going to be hard enough without an audience. She needed to focus, she needed to remember the vows she'd taken what like forever ago now and put an end to the game of emotional chess they were playing. Like that it seemed like she had made a decision that she was definitely unsure sure she'd be able to stick to. Now she just had to face Greg and repeat it out loud while he watched her with a gaze that could make anyone melt.

Greg didn't know what to expect when he walked through the door. He saw Sara sitting in the corner folding the napkin in her hands with neat lines with a weak attempt at origami to distract herself. He didn't know why she had dragged him out of bed on his day off but like always he'd come running when she'd called. She wanted to _talk_. Nothing good ever came of talking. It was the start to every break up conversation he'd ever had. Though could they break up when they weren't actually together, he wasn't so sure. "Sara" He made himself known taking the chair opposite placing down his latte before proceeding to pour sugar into the cup. "What can I do for you on my day off?" He tried for jovial but had landed somewhere with a biting tone that was impossible to hide.

"I thought it would be nice to catch up. It feels like ages since I've seen you." Sara smiled warmly at him. It felt good to be around him again even though it was obvious he was no ready to forget her yet. To see his brown eyes, and even his brief smile for a moment. She fleetingly thought about bringing up the girl he had taken home the other night but knew better than to throw stones in glass houses. "Well you kissed me, avoided me and just never talked about it." Greg replied in a low voice he only reserved for his most snarky remarks. He had wanted to hold back but the words came tumbling out before he could sensor himself. He had spent so long thinking about all of the things he wanted to say to Sara. From accusing her of leading him on or suggesting that they run away to live off the grid together. He had been also back and forth on just forgetting about it all so he could get his friend back.

"Greg." Sara paused considering her next comment. She was going to argue that she hadn't been avoiding him but that was a lie; the thought of talking to him had made her carefully chose time spent in the break room and other common areas. "This is really hard for me." The sentence ended but the subtext was obvious. It was hard because she was married. It was hard because her feelings for him had hijacked her life out of nowhere because of one impulsive kiss. Greg suddenly softened, his shoulders slouched as he leant back in his chair. "Tell me about it." he looked up at her exhausted and dejected. They had both wanted to fix the problem but realized that there was a step they had missed - they needed to acknowledge that there was something between them. Something more than just friendship. "So what do we do now?" Greg asked letting the question linger in the air.

"Take me home with you." Sara spoke in a low voice her eyes fixated on the napkin in her hand. All of the assurance to herself that she would end the ' _thing_ ' she had with Greg and walk away had proved to be impossible the moment she had seen him. He had her. He always would do for long as they were around each other. Without meaning to she had made a choice; one that would change everything about her life and her husband's. He placed his hand on top of hers the skin on skin contact anchoring her to reality. Greg leant closer placing a gentle kiss against her lips before pulling away indicating to the door, muttering ' _lets go_ ' under his breath not wanting to give her a chance to change her mind. It wasn't the heartful confession of love he had hoped for but it was as good as.

Sara didn't want to think to hard about what she had just agreed to letting him lead the way to his car while he said something about how they could come back for hers. His voice just white noise to her ears. Greg turned to face her pulling her flush against his body his hands tangled in her hair as he kissed her more passionately his time. Ignoring the gold of her wedding band glinting in the bright sunlight she kissed him back her hands smoothing down his back letting him hold her. They felt like the only two people in Las Vegas in that second. Her phone was buzzing in her pocket but Sara ignored it not wanting to let the world pull her out of the dizziness. The drive back to Greg's house was a blur as they looked at each other nervously across the centre console. They were more sober than either of them had expected to be. They were more scared than they were willing to admit to themselves or each other about crossing the line. Once they done it there was no going back - they wouldn't be able to undo any of the consequences.

The front door closed and without missing a beat Greg's hands were searching her body pushing her against any hard surface. He trailed kisses down her neck towards the top of her jumper his hands moving beneath the fabric in the opposite direction. The rough, wanton nature of his caresses surprising her. It had been a long time since a man had touched her like that. She had never imagined sweet, nice Greg almost ripping the buttons off her shirt like that. Sara gave as good as she got working quickly to undo his belt her hands moving past the waistband of his boxers eliciting a deep husky groan from his lips. Greg undid her jeans sliding them down her legs before stopping to look at her. "I love you." The words were a breathless rush egging her on he needed to say it and hear the words from her. "I love you too" Sara replied surprised how easy it was to tell him. Greg kissed her neck before taking her then and there in the hallway not wanting to stop.

There bodies came to a slow, exquisite halt. After a few moments they untangled - there was silence as they waited to see if the world had changed. Greg pushed her hair away from her face kissing her softly the affection in the way he looked at her making Sara's heart hurt. Greg picked her up carrying her down the hall to his bedroom placing her down amongst the covers. They made love again barely speaking simply content with finally breaking the tension that had been building up between them. Sara focused on him not wanting to think about anything else waiting on the other side of the door away from his arms. He seemed to know exactly what to do before she had even figured out what she wanted. All of those years spent together talking into the middle of the night Greg knew everything about her. She knew every scar on his skin. His body felt like home.

They fell apart in a breathless rush of satisication the room spinning above them. Greg turned wanting to say the right thing not wanting to burst the bubble of elation that surrounded them. "I could use some coffee" Sara smiled softly pulling herself out of bed pressing a kiss against his cheek. She fished his shirt tangled at the end of the covers wrapping it around her body quickly working the buttons before tying her hair up with the elastic band on her wrist. He had spent years imaging Sara making herself comfortable in his clothes in the afterglow. As he followed her to the kitchen he felt a rush of pride at his conquest - after fifteen years of waiting he had finally bedded her but that fell flat to the fact she had said he loved him. There had been no indication of a lie in the way she looked at him and said the three little words out loud.

The persistent sound of ringing from one of their phones filled the hallway; they silently accepted that it was time to let reality back in. It could have been an emergency at the lab or perhaps Greg's mother calling to check in on him. With a sigh he walked to the pile of clothes in the hallway gathering them up and placing them on the banister to be dealt with later. His plan was to keep Sara in his house sans clothes for as long as he possibly could. There was no way he was letting go of her now. Greg returned to the kitchen with their department issue phones in both his hands passing Sara hers while the coffee machine whirred in the background. She pressed the handset to her ear listening to the voicemail her heart stopping as the voice filtered through the speaker. "What's wrong?" her body stiffened at his touch telling him straight away it was not good news. She cleared her throat not knowing where to look as she replied the guilt clouding her eyes. "Grissom's here."


	4. Chapter 4

Hi all - hope you're doing well and are enjoying this story. My apologies for how long it's taken me to get this chapter up, I had a real block with it. Review & let me know what you think, if you'd like me to continue! 

Disclaimer - I own nothing.

 **Sucker Punch**

Sara felt heart heart drop as her car neared her house; the place that had once been her sanctuary away from the big, bad world felt like nothing more than a prison now. Grissom had informed via a text her that he was waiting for a connecting flight but would in Las Vegas in no time. He was coming _home_. Just a handful of words on a mobile screen as if they meant nothing at all. He had finally broken the unofficial vow of silence deciding to make a dramatic return to her life when her heart had finally stopped hurting. Choosing Greg had been easy while her husband was somewhere lost in the distance. She could barely remember the last time they had been in the same room together; the longer they had been apart he had started to fade piece by piece from her memory. At first they'd had long skype conversations pretending to be together in the same time zone. That had changed to phone conversations - Sara would sit on the porch a cigarette in between her teeth, the phone cradled in the other hand waiting for a call at a set time. Those had turned into text messages which had grown to be few and far between.

It was a classic case of long distance romance fizzling out - the only issue being they were legally still bound together. They still wore gold rings on their left hands that warned away others because they technically belonged to someone else. When had they become so bitter they would wonder watching their friends happiness around them. It seemed so unjust that others would have someone to hold them when they came home while they embraced emptiness. Neither had suggested they try harder to make it work which answered all of the little questions at the back of their minds about whether it was really over. Sara realized she couldn't go through the same trials and tribulations she had done at twenty seven when they'd met. All of her emotional energy for complicated non-relationships had been used up. After all of these years she was far more conventional than she had ever imagined she could be, longing to curl up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and someone that could actually be there. Greg. He offered her all of the things she had wanted - he always had done but she had never seen it lost amongst the romanticised version of how her life with Grissom could have been.

Now she realised she was irrationally angry at her husband for always putting her in the position to question herself. It was a petty, childish, selfish thought considering she had just broken them vows twice over. When she had seen his message it had taken a moment before a real emotion she had been feeling for a long time settled in - frustration. She had gone from being tired of living on Grissom's whim to down right irritated. It had been the thing that had pushed her away in the first place. She had been tired of living her life based on his terms, needs or requirements. By making an unannounced trip back to Vegas he had done the exact thing that had driven her crazy before - made a move on their behalf without regard for what she wanted. These were the irrational thoughts he'd tut at her for. These were all the mild annoyances that doubled in size with distance. Despite it all she knew herself well enough to know she would never tell him melting when he arrived because after all of this time there was no off switch to her affection for him. Her feelings for Greg were not comparable. They overpowered every one of her senses when she was around him in a way that made her think she was losing her mind. It was wrong to be so caught between two people who wanted nothing more than to love her.

Sara swung open the door to her condo realizing the count down had begun to Grissom walking through the door - she needed to shower, to wash Greg off her skin to start with. The thought of greeting her husband with her lover's scent still clinging to her made her feel mildly nauseated. _Would Grissom know?_ Would he see her acting differently even in the minor details and know that she had been unfaithful. Doubt flooded in as she stood beneath the shower - she had moved too fast. She hadn't obsessed and carefully planned every move with Greg like she had done with her husband at the start of their relationship. The feelings hadn't had time to settle in and make her second guess everything. It had been impulsive sleeping with him before talking to Grissom. Scratch that it had been impulsive full stop. She had gone there with the intention of ending things between them not setting a fire that would inevitably burnt everything they had worked for down. Sara groaned, she should have ended it with one of them but in that moment she couldn't figure out who. Happily ever after could have been just on the other side of a conversation instead of the heart break this would cause.

She tried to imagine how Grissom would react to the news that she had _cheated_ on him (the word tasted wrong on her tongue. With Greg no less - a friend - someone he had trusted and mentored. Would he be angry, disappointed or relieved that she had been the one to do it first. Had he been expecting her to hurt him all along so he had held back from her all of those years ago. The doorbell rang through the house indicating that time for contemplation had ended. Sara had cleaned as much as she could with the half hour she had to spare - the apartment was cluttered with old letters, empty wine bottles and take out food containers. It had been as if she had regressed to being a college student again too busy with too little motivation to clean. She would return home in the mornings after shift collapsing exhausted on the sofa with the TV on oblivious to the things around her. Grissom wouldn't have said anything at first but she knew him well enough to know that he would have the eyed the mess with suspicion before asking her if she had remembered to refill her bottle of antidepressants.

With a deep breath for courage Sara swung the door open with a smile she had to practise in the mirror. Grissom shrugged his shoulders and held up his hands with a warm smile, "I couldn't find my key." He seemed so normal, so casual and he pulled her into his arms for an embrace and she found herself tensing up instinctively. She gave a small humourless laugh trying to cover up the awkwardness forcing herself to melt into the hug. She needed to act like normal to not raise any suspicion just yet; telling him as soon as he walked through the door was not the best move. In reality there was no right way to tell him. "I need a shower and some sleep but it's so good to see you." He placed a hand on her cheek forcing her to meet his eye before kissing her softly. It was the way he had kissed her millions of times previously but it suddenly felt so different. It was no longer familiar or comfortable in the way it had once been. She found herself comparing it to the way Greg had kissed her only a few hours before. Grissom tasted different. The way he held her felt different. The smell of his skin was different.

Sara pulled away momentarily surprised by his blue eyes peering back at her with confusion. "Go shower, rest, we can catch up in a bit." She spoke in a low voice leaning in and straightening out his shirt. It was one she had chosen for him while wandering around Paris realizing that she had little to do with her day but shopping and drinking coffee in quaint little cafes. The blue had stood out to her from the moment she had walked through the store door. She knew it would look good on Grissom and without much debate she had bought it. He'd worn it on a few of their date nights proving her right the colour bringing out his eyes. Acting natural was harder than she had ever imagined it would be as a lump built up in her throat. She wanted to blurt out the truth that everything had changed as of twelve hours ago but the way he looked at her made her weak. Sara had never wanted to be the one to break his heart. She had waited for so long to prove that to him that she wouldn't, to get the chance to love him and be loved by him. They had fought so hard to avoid admitting that perhaps it just wasn't enough. Sometimes you can love someone and with all the will the world and still it might fail. Grissom could sense that something was wrong but had no idea how to address it so he gave a small nod turning away from her.

As Grissom walked away she could feel her phone buzzing in her pocket - Sara didn't need to check she knew who was on the other side. Greg was trying to remind her that he was still there waiting for her to acknowledge what had happened and to validate his feelings. She didn't check the message - she didn't have the energy to comfort him while she felt like she was falling apart. It was selfish to block him out but she was almost certain if she spoke to him she would say the wrong thing. He wanted an assurance that she couldn't give him. Sara had so easily told him she loved him but the words now seemed stuck in her throat feeling like sandpaper. The feelings that had forced her to act so recklessly were very real. The thought of Greg made her feel safe he had always been the person she had turned to, the one that saved her on those bad days offering a shoulder to cry on. More than anything she felt conflicted. She sat on the kitchen table a cup of steaming tea in her hands while running through the conversation she needed to have in her head. Grissom needed to know before it all go too far out of her control.

Her husband appeared in a bathrobe sitting across from her looking refreshed as if brand new. He poured himself tea from the pot at the centre of the table settling into the kitchen as if it was his own. The house felt like Sara's place; she had found it, decorated it in a style she liked and curated specific photos from their lives. They had taken a step backwards from living as a married couple to being in their seperate homes. They would try their best to be comfortable in each other's space but would struggle to remember the small details like which drawer the cutlery was kept in or where AC control were. There was a moment of still silence while they studied each other trying to read minds. It was their last chance to make it work Grissom knew that they had both put each other through so much there was no more time left to start over. As he had gotten out of the cab he had wanted to rush in and be romantic but had stumbled over greeting her. Sara hadn't jumped into his arms thankful he had made it - she had learnt better than to be too excited knowing that it only meant that soon enough they would be saying goodbye.

"Gil, we need to talk." Her voice was quiet, cracking slightly as she forced the words past her lips. Sara was going to tell him. It was the best thing to do to get it out in the open and handle it once it was known. He have a sharp nod before interrupting her, "Can we talk this evening? I spoke to Russell to make sure you had time off before I came and he insisted that we come for dinner. I tried to say no but his wife even planned a vegetarian menu, I couldn't decline." It was a delaying tactic. They both could see through the suggestion that they hold off on any conversation that might end their marriage. Grissom wanted time, he wanted to attempt rekindle their romance before he gave up. He would never have been able to forgive himself if he walked away now. Despite the distance and difficulties seeing Sara again reminded him of how deeply he had loved her from the moment they had met. He watched as she contemplated the options before giving in and nodding in agreement. A few more hours of pretending nothing was wrong before it would all come crashing down.

Sara remained distant from him avoiding physical contact as they move about the house independently. He wanted to kiss her, make love to her and hold her in his arms like they had done in the Parisian loft when they had moved in drunk on champagne and excitement. He sat and watched her get ready for the evening putting on makeup as if to cover something up. It was a routine they had carried out many times before - they would share glances through the mirror and make small talk but this time it was as if they had ran out of words in the English language to communicate with each other. Sara didn't straighten his tie as they walked out of the door, she didn't argue about the radio station he chose as they drove there or provide any input when they stopped to get a gift for Russell. She was lost in her thoughts about something else. Someone else. Once they reached Russell's house it was obvious they were not the only guests invited that night - a number of cars parked in the driveway. Grissom pulled up behind a black four by four that Sara instantly recognised as Greg's.

Her heart thumped in her chest almost deafening every other noise as her husband asked her to grab the bottle of wine they had brought from the back seat. She felt a sudden lightheadedness and the feeling of foreboding. She had not been ready to face him just yet knowing that he'd push her to decide whether she was in or out. Inside the house Greg was the first one to look up when they walked into the dining room their hands intertwined like any other couple. A look of betrayal and hurt flashed across his face before quickly changing to match the excitement of the others suddenly realising they weren't alone. Sara kept her eyes on him wanting to signal that she was sorry she just needed some time but he refused to look at her his eyes trained on Grissom. The room erupted in excitement while everyone asked how their ex-boss had been and what he had been doing. Nick relayed some of the stories they had heard from Sara and asked for the full versions. It was as if everything was perfectly normal - except that it wasn't and it never would be again.


End file.
